Well...

Well....


I've been absent again. And I've been thinking about why I can't seem to get into this Project Ninety x Ninety.
I think I've figured it out. A couple of things.
One: I'm busy. Not necessarily doing fun stuff but just taking care of business.
Two: and this is the main one: It's too broad a concept. Thirty years. I  can't think that far ahead. I don't want to think that far ahead. (Denial may run in my family. Just sayin'.)

So...what to do?

Think I'm going to steal a line from Buzz Lightyear.  I'm going back to Sixty x Sixty and just change it to "Project Sixty x Sixty... and Beyond."

Today's inspiration.

I'll still have me a list of challenges. I'll still post but maybe not regularly. Or maybe it will be. It will be looser until I figure out exactly what I'm doing with myself.

Apologies for the confusion. It's my state of mind recently.

BUT!

I have been having fun which is another part of the picture.

In the past month I have been to a musical with the former President George H.W. Bush and his lovely wife, Barbara.  I have slept with Frank Lloyd Wright.  I have partied with Florida Georgia Line.

Let me clarify.

A sweet friend took me to see the Sound of Music. A Sunday afternoon performance. The former Prez and his wife live in Houston and are great supporters of the arts. They were also in attendance and were acknowledged by the theater. It's funny, but I have been to three performances over the years where the Bushes have also been in attendance.  This time was particularly interesting as we happened to walk out right as they were also leaving.  Traffic was stopped- both pedestrian and vehicular. Mr. Bush was wheeled out in his wheelchair.  Secret Service men swarmed. The Bushes were loaded up and some very innocuous looking cars suddenly started flashing lights. Off they drove.    I was probably 40 feet from them at the time.

Apparently this is the obligatory "I was here" photo. 

( On another note, I have seen three presidents in my life time. President Kennedy when he was in San Antonio, two nights before he was shot.  President George W. Bush when he was still Governor of Texas and he led the Ft. Bend County Parade one year. And the Senior Bushes at the theater.)



Sleeping with Frank Lloyd Wright? Well, of course not literally.  He's been dead since I was four- that would be gross.  But I did visit a friend whose house has art.  And over my futon was a piece of wallpaper- original and hand printed-from his home furnishings collection, Taliesin.  Tacked to the wall with push pins. I was petrified a stretch during the night would result in a wallpaper tear. 

And Florida Georgia Line? They were at the  Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo where I went with my friend Martha. 

Me and Martha. 

Contemplating new careers 

as Rodeo Clowns.

They were much twangier in person than I expected. But a great show and a wonderful evening. 

Florida Georgia Line in concert at the HLSR.

Anyway, to infinity and beyond!! 

(And getting a great giggle at the fact that I've managed to include a toy action figure, a country music band, a former President and an acclaimed architect in one post.)

Random Thoughts on Creating

Random Musings from a Muddled Mind on Being a Creative Mind


I've been AWOL.
Again.

I was discussing with a friend about having a studio and how wonderful it would be to have a "SPACE".
MY space.
One that was only for creating.  It is becoming more and more my goal.
I think "I would paint if I had a space to create."  Now my paints are upstairs and downstairs and there is no place for me to spread out and make a mess. By the time I gathered everything up, set down drop cloths, spread out...goodness. I'd be too exhausted to think.


I think "I would blog more if I had a safe spot to blog."  Coming into my office to tap away on the computer is daunting because there are also bills in there. Income tax half done. The dreaded FAFSA to finish up.  Car insurance to be followed up on. The car still hasn't been repaired from that November -2015- deer incident.  HOA nasty grams to reply to. LIFE intrudes in my office.

This. 

This is the cleaned up version of the desk.

It still gives me hives looking at it.

Nothing kills a creative spirit more than reality.   Maybe that's not true but it seems that way to me these days.

I create in my head constantly. So many blog posts run through my brain. Probably a third actually  make it into the computer.  Blogging on the iPad is so tedious I have to be desperate. I don't have a laptop, only a desk computer. In that office. You know, the one with LIFE in it also.


A letter from Sarah Jewett to Willa Cather sums it up quite nicely:

And to write and work on this level, we must live on it — we must at least recognize it and defer to it at every step. We must be ourselves, but we must be our best selves.*

If I want to really write, really paint, really connect with my creativity I cannot let LIFE intrude. 
I need to clear my mind and create. 

Because when I do....I lose myself.  Once I start typing, it might be an hour later when I realize I'm done. Where did that hour go? It was spent in a world absent of time. A wonderful world where it is me and the computer and words and fonts.   The same thing can happen with paints or colored pencils. 

Let's be real here. I write for me. The fact that people actually read what I write is just icing on the cake.   I write because I have to get the words out of my head. 

Or.....

Maybe I'm just making excuses? 
If I really had to create, wouldn't I? No matter what or where? 
Probably I just need DISCIPLINE. 

Look at that fabulous drawing table.

It sits mostly unused in the corner of the game room.

Because it is the KID'S space. 

Not mine. 

(And the scary self portrait I did in college. 

Gave the kids nightmares when they were little.)

What do you think?  Can you lose yourself in creativity when the world is tugging at your hem? 
Is inspiration enough to make you ignore everything else clamoring for your attention?  I will say sometimes yes, sometimes no to that one. 

This weekend I am spending with my beautiful middle child in West Palm Beach, followed by a few days with one of my most creative friends. Do you have certain people that inspire you? That encourage your mind to go where it only dreamed of? I've been trying to find those people and bring them back into my life. 

So until next week.